Experienced Hamster Mommy

My parents have a rental house with no renters.  There is a freeloader though...some sort of animal in the basement.  Obviously, they didn't need to call animal control since they have four kids, all within a 20 minute drive.

Unfortunately, Christian, my youngest brother, was out of town the day my mom decided it was time to set the live trap.  I was the obvious next choice because of my six minute proximity and love of animals.  I am also an experienced live trapper.  I got one for Christmas when I was eleven so I could catch wild animals at The Land.

We bought our new live trap at Lowe's.  It was the only one they had.  I put it in the back of my car and went home to put it together.  After pulling the smelly box out of my backseat and starting to read the directions, I noticed something funny about them.  It almost looked like the edges of the paper had been burnt.

I thought it was odd, but continued to try and assemble the cage.  After cutting my hand, I enlisted my husband to help while I investigated the mysterious "burnt" directions and odd smell.  I looked in the box to find tons of rodent droppings.  I then realized that I recognized the odd smell from my days as a hamster mommy - rodent urine.  Luckily I had my tetanus shot when I was pregnant.

I guess it was such an awesome live trap that something decided to make it home.  Unfortunately, the freeloader in the basement does not agree with the live trap's former resident.  We set it a week ago and had no activity.  Maybe the freeloader doesn't like used homes...or maybe the freeloader was the dead squirrel that Sammy, my other brother, disposed of a few months ago.  Hmmm.

The Straw that Broke the Llama's Back

I have always been obsessed with animals.  I was excited when mice got in the house, delighted when I saw seagulls circling the trash at the dump, and overjoyed when "french fry birds" harassed me at McDonald's.  Unfortunately, animals have not always loved me back.  I am about to reveal a highly disturbing story to you...brace yourselves.

When I was little, I was attacked by a llama.  I remember toddling around a petting zoo with my parents and grandparents (Gaga and Papa).  While attempting to pet a baby chicken that was walking around, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.  I specifically remember, saying "Look, a camel."  I guess this was the straw that broke the llama's back.

The allure of the "camel" quickly wore off and I turned around to go try and touch more animals.  The llama reached his head through the fence and grabbed me by the back of my OshKoshes.  He proceeded to try and pull me into the fenced in area.  As he was slamming my little body into the fence, Gaga ran over and wedged her body in between me and fence to soften the blows.  The attack ended when Papa punched the llama in the face.  I walked away unscathed, but with a fear of llamas.  I am sure my parents were terrified.

In all seriousness, they are a pretty dangerous animal.  Llamas are used to protect herds from intruders, like wild dogs.  Phillip, a llama that belonged to a neighbor tried to attack our Silky Terrier, Shaq, once...but that's a whole other story.  Personally, I don't think that something that is supposed to maim and kill small animals in order to protect a herd should live in a petting zoo for children (aren't children small animals?).

Baby Ethan visited the zoo for the first time two days ago.  I was happy to see that there were no llamas there.  If I can teach Ethan anything, I hope it is to never turn your back on a llama and know your animals.  They may be insulted when you mistake them for a camel.

I don't trust that smiling llama for one second!

True Mud

I have recently realized that Baby Ethan probably shouldn't be watching things like Game of Thrones and The Real Housewives of New Jersey with me.  He might have nightmares about dragons with Jersey accents (scary!).  So, I have started trying out a few kids shows.  After watching things like The Wiggles, Babar, and Baby Einstein, I always want to go....where the air is sweet!  Can you tell me how to get...how to get to Sesame street?

Everyone should know that Sesame Street is as awesome now as when we were little.  The other day, I noticed that Big Ethan and I were watching it while the baby was quietly playing in his bouncy saucer.  Please note that I noticed and still didn't change the channel.  I enjoyed learning about the letter "V" and gemstones for the next twenty minutes.  Glorious!

If you don't believe me that Sesame Street is awesome, please watch the following videos which are a sample of what is providing me (ohhh and Baby Ethan) with hours of entertainment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8kLlNt3Ue4&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkd5dJIVjgM

Who needs Game of Thrones when you can watch True Mud?

Cute and Fun with a Scratchy Tongue

Today has not been the easiest day.  I was randomly hungover after splitting a bottle of wine with my sister last night.  Also, Baby Ethan was off of his normal nap scheduled.  These two things are a killer combination.  As I count down the minutes until Big Ethan gets home, I will reflect on three funny thoughts that I had today.

I have probably said this to all four of you who read my blog, but I hate the pretzels in chex mix.  As I sat in bed shoving the 100 calorie chex mix pack into my mouth (wishing it were a cheeseburger), I was pretty pissed off.  The bag was mostly pretzel.  What a rip-off.

As I was waiting for Baby Ethan to take a nap, we played with a new toy.  It's a cube that has an animal on each side: a horse, a cat, a dog, a cow, a sheep, and a duck.  When you press the animal, it says what it is, makes the animal noise, and then sings a song.  I think we should all quit our jobs and become song writers for kid's toys.  The songs are creepy and ridiculous.  The following is what I heard all morning:  "Cat.  Meow.  I'm a cat and I have soft fur.  I am cute and fun with a scratchy tongue.  When I'm happy, hear me Purrrr!"

Finally, nap time arrived and I crawled into bed wearing my comfy Kermit the Frog shirt.  I fell asleep quickly and woke up quickly to Fiona howling like a werewolf.  I have never heard the dog howl before in my life.  It made me wonder if she's been watching season three of True Blood (the season with the werewolves) with me and Big Ethan.

Baby crying again.  Time to go!  "Cow.  Moooo.  I'm a cow.  I'm black and white.  I like to eat grass all day and night because I'm a cow...and how!"

Mommy Blogger

Up to this point, I have not written much about being a mommy.  To tell you the truth, I think I have been in a state of mild shock for the past six months.  I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I have a new person living in my house that I made.  I have never wanted to be a "mommy blogger", but let's be honest - being a mommy takes up more than 100% of my time.  Here are some things I have learned / pondered about being a beginner mommy:

Pregnancy is way too long.  Someone needs to do something about it.  The fact that it is counted in weeks makes it seem even longer.  As for the people who say that they loved being pregnant, I'm not sure I believe them.  My sister and I are trying to work out a situation where she is pregnant with the babies and I give birth to them...I'm not sure how that is going to work, but let's keep our fingers crossed we can magically make it happen.

I think people should enjoy giving birth and not judge other people for their "birth plans" (or lack there of).  Having a baby is scary enough...you don't need anyone stressing you out with their opinions.  I had an epidural and requested that my mother and husband act like nothing out of the ordinary was happening.  I got to listen to family gossip with the Today Show and HGTV on in the background.  I calmly pushed three times and then Baby Ethan was born.  Ethan and I split a Coke and then our family came in to meet their new obsession.  It was a great day full of joking around, some emotional tears, and lots of supportive family.  I couldn't have asked for anything more.

The beginning sucks.  You are in pain and you're not sure what to think of the new human that magically appeared.  Even though he lived off of me for close to ten months, he was a stranger to me.  Luckily, unconditional love sneaks up on you.  As soon as the pain wore off (about six weeks for me), I wanted to cry every time I noticed he was getting bigger.  That is how I knew I was in love with my baby boy.  I now feel guilty for not appreciating the days when he was tiny more than I did.  I will do better next time (if I'm not too busy chasing baby Ethan around the house).

In conclusion, the beginning is hard.  It is lonely and stressful, but it is worth it.  I will never get these moments back with my baby (tearing up again!).  I love him.  I am very lucky.