Here is a list of professions that Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. is challenging all mothers to become (seems pretty realistic to me!):
Party Planner
Each child's birthday must be as extravagant as a wedding reception. The catch is that you need to make the cake and food from scratch. Every decoration has to be something you saw on Pinterest and made yourself.
Gardener
Since you can only feed your child organic food, you must create your own garden (with organic seeds). It has to be fruitful enough to feed your whole family and have enough flowers in it to decorate your entire home.
Devoted Mother and Wife
You love every minute of your family. Your children are cute and clean. You husband never comes homes late and is never aggravated with you. Life is great!
Photographer
Every picture you take is a beautiful. Grainy cell phone pictures are frowned upon. If you don't have a nice enough camera to do the job, you need to hire someone to take professional pictures of your family and then post those.
Super Model
You will look the same as you did in high school after having a dozen children. Post about how you are in your pre-pregnancy jeans while leaving the hospital. You should also talk about how you weigh less right after having the baby than you did before you got pregnant. Better yet, post bikini pictures holding your infant.
Holiday Guru
Every holiday is an important holiday. Children must wear the appropriate colors for each holiday (even if they are an infant). Leprechaun footprints made from food coloring will be somewhere fun in your house on St. Patrick's Day and your {organic} eggs must be green.
Professional Chef
You will prepare dinner every night for your family (and preferably post pictures as proof) with things you have made from scratch. You get bonus points if you use "Pic Stitch" to show how you turned the vegetables you grew (see "gardener" section above) into a gourmet meal.
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| Above is the Bertolli frozen dinner I made for my family this evening. |
Writer
You must blog about dirty diapers and breastfeeding (which you better be doing for 12 months!). Your writing has to be funny and/or heartfelt. You must share every post you write on Facebook. You don't want people to think you're slacking.
The list could go on and on! I must admit that I am guilty of a lot of these things. I made Eliza's lemonade stand, I have a fancy camera, and write a blog (every few months). However, I've only grown one tomato, have a half-dead rose bush, and have never made a cake. Social media is fun, but let's not put unrealistic expectations on ourselves or peers.
Now, I'm off to make my own play dough, Christmas ornaments, and finger-paints...
