Props to Hands Free Mama

I am constantly surprised that something that is supposed to connect us to the world manages to isolate and distract us from the people that we are physically with.  I am guilty of this and could not agree more with this blog post.

http://www.handsfreemama.com/?p=3942





Preppy Parenting Reminder

I had a great day today.  I met my nephew (who made a very dramatic entrance into the world two weeks early in his father's car...which I realize would make a more interesting blog post than the one I am writing, but it's not my story to tell).  After that, it was time to buy the newest Wirt boy gifts.  I picked up some little things for him from the Williamsburg Outlets.  After I finished walking my ginormous self (10 weeks to go!) all over that place, I went to my car to leave.

As I was pulling out of the shopping center, I spotted the Ralph Lauren Polo Outlet.  I parked and hoped that I would find some matching outfits for my little people.  I was successful, but that was not the highlight of my Polo experience.

I walked through the check-out maze and prepared myself to answer questions about my due date, the sex of my future child, and if I had chosen a name.  The check-out guy looked giddy as I walked up, which made me particularly hesitant.  As I handed him my two tiny navy blue purchases, he said, "We found out what we're having today."  He then explained that he and his wife were keeping the sex of their baby a secret from friends and family, but he thought it would be ok if he told me.  He could barely contain his excitement when he told me.  His secret is safe with me.

He may have told the next customer the same thing, but something tells me he didn't.  He even whispered the gender to me so his co-workers wouldn't hear.  It was a really touching moment.  That man is in love with his 20 week old baby-to-be and his excitement was contagious.

Being pregnant is not fun.  However, today it was.  I was reminded of how lucky I am to get the opportunity to be a parent.  So, thank you little nephew and future daddy in the Polo Outlet....you are what life is all about!

Playing the Name Game

Sophronia, Sophronia
Bo, Bophronia
Banana, Fanna Foe, Fophronia
Me, My, Moe, Mophronia
Sophronia!

Wow, that's going to go over really well in a kindergarten classroom!  Anyone who has ever attempted to name a child knows what I am currently going through.  I always thought that I would name my first girl after my mother and grandmother, who have been the biggest female influences in my life.  Since I got pregnant, I realized what a challenge I had set myself up for.

Let's start with my grandmother's name: Florence Mary.  Florence is my sister's first name, but she goes by Kelly and has told me she wouldn't mind if I used Florence.  The issue is, that even though I know "Grandma Chic" names are coming back into style, I worry that my baby girl won't be able to  rock a name like Florence.  It gets even worse when I imagine my elementary age little girl being called Flo-baby or Flossy by her fellow classmates.  All of that aside, I still don't feel quite right about using my sister's name even if she doesn't go by it.  That leaves Mary, which is the name of my parents' cat.

Let's move on to my mother: Susanne Waring.  I have the same name as my mother, but have always gone by my first and middle name when around family.  My mother is Susanne and I am Susanne May (Smay).  However, as I got older, somehow people morphed me into Susanne and I didn't correct them.  I still answer to both and don't prefer one over the other.  I like my name, but have never imaged using it for the first name of my child...not sure why.  Plus, Ethan, Ethan, Susanne, and Susanne could get a little confusing (it's slightly different from my family's Sam, Sammy, Susanne, and Susanne May).  That leaves me with Waring Wirt.  Enough said.

When I look back into the family trees of Ethan and my family, I found a lot of female name  "winners": Sophronia, Blue Bell, Slingluff, Eugenia, Agnes, Leota, Force, Mildred, Nutt, and the list goes on.  I thought I had found a good one when I saw Rosalie, but then realized (thanks to the help of my sister) that this name has recently spiked in popularity because Rosalie is a character in the Twilight series.  Yuck.

 Rosalie from Twilight

Rosalie from my family

I guess we can always go with my mom's or sister's suggestions....Slingluff Nutt or Florence the Force Wirt.  Good grief.

Life Lessons

I say a lot of weird things in a day.  Here is a sampling of the daily life lessons I am trying to pass onto my little guy:

• Do not sit on the doggie's head.
• Don't drink milk straight from the gallon...it's too big for you.

• Don't eat rocks.
• Don't throw rocks.
• Let's just put down the rocks.
• Books do not go in the toilet.
• Trash cans are not toy boxes.  Don't put your toys in them and don't take the trash out.
• Do not slam the doggie's head in the door.

• Mommie's cell phone doesn't need a bath.
• Don't give the dog a sip of your water.  She doesn't know how to use a sippy cup.
• Don't tinkle on the floor.

With all this direction I need to give my fourteen month-old, I didn't think I'd have to give advice to Fiona too....

Do not sneak out of the house and get in the baby's car seat.

The Onion...Hilarious

http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-newborn-infants-can-tell-if-parents-ar,27698/

I hope our babies don't think we're losers....yikes.

Worse than a Dirty Baby

As I sit here with the remote resting on my five month pregnant stomach, sharing Baskin-Robbins Cookie Dough Ice Cream with my cat, Noel...I am reflecting on the baby things I should and shouldn't have purchased when I was pregnant with Little Ethan.  I will be a more educated Mommy this time around!

Things I thought were weird and stupid before I had a baby, but now I know better:

• Nuby Snack Keeper:  Apparently, babies like to throw food....and sometimes family members even encourage their throwing by cracking up at the action.  Nuby Snack Keepers allow solid food snackers to reach into the bowl and grab their own snacks without dumping the whole bowl over.  The result - no more spills or throws and no more giggling family members.

• Munchkin Dishwasher Basket: When you're a mommy, bottles and bottle accessories become your calling card.  I leave something almost everywhere I go.  Therefore, I am always short on bottles.  Until I got the dishwasher basket, I also lost a lot of bottles and accessories to the heating element in my dishwasher.  A good life lesson - a melted nipple is never a good thing.

Things I will not purchase this time around or for any of the bazillion pregnant friends I have:

• Shopping Cart Protectors: This is a completely personal opinion.  I know people that use them and love them.  Personally, I have enough to carry - a baby, a diaper bag (stocked with diapers, wipes, toys, sippy cups, bottles, my wallet, my keys, the baby's toy keys, etc.)  I cannot imagine one more thing to wrestle with while walking into a store.

• Baby Towels:  They are the same thing as washcloths.  Now I have a million washcloths with monkeys and whales on them.  I literally have enough to do multiple loads of laundry composed of only baby towels.  In my house, many of them are now expensive cleaning rags.
• Burt's Bees Baby Shampoo: It smells worse than a dirty baby.

20 down, 20 to go.

Today, I am officially 20 weeks pregnant.  I am HALFWAY to the end of being pregnant and the beginning of being even sleepier!  On the car ride to work today, I found myself reflecting on the pros and cons of pregnancy.  Here are a few I came up with...

WARNING: continue reading at your own risk.  This is a TRUTHFUL blog post about pregnancy.

Pros at 20 Weeks	Cons at 20 Weeks
At 20 weeks pregnant, you have what others consider a “cute” bump.	You feel fat.
Food tastes delicious and doesn’t make you queasy anymore.	Delicious food gives you forest fire strength heartburn.
You can walk around in the heat without wanting to be sick or pass out.	When you walk around, your ankles look like the Nutty Professor
Your hair looks the best it’s ever looked.	However, you know as soon as you have the baby, a lot of your hair will fall out.
You’re curvier in all the right places.	You have stretch marks in all the right places too.
You can still see your legs when you’re shaving them in the shower.	You pull a muscle in your back when you lean over to shave your legs.
Your skin is glowing.	Your skin has skin tags.
You can feel your baby kick.	Your baby likes to practice Kung Fu while you are sleeping.
You made it through 20 weeks of being pregnant, including the dreaded 1st trimester	Wait a second…I still have 20 weeks to go and haven’t even made it to the dreaded third trimester!

Good luck to all the other mommies and future mommies who are also halfway there!

Moms I'd Like to Punch.

I am extremely upset that I did not write this...

"Who are MILPs?

MILPs are a growing group of annoying, offensive moms who are a menace to the general population of weary moms innocently minding their own business, and just trying to survive till the next nap. Their sole mission in life is to make your life harder and to question your own judgment, while advancing their own evil mom agendas. While most MILPs are merely clueless, self-absorbed and insecure, the most hardened MILPs can be judgmental, obnoxious, intrusive and downright dangerous.  Here's a list of the worst offenders:

Sanctimommies

These sanctimonious, holier-than-thou moms are my arch-enemies. Yet I'll be the first to admit that I have my own inner sanctimommy moments all the time. This uptight breed of mom can be recognized with their permanently pursed lips, constantly rolling eyes and eyebrows raised in disbelief at your inept parenting. Under the veil of anonymity, these moms get their judgmental fix on the Internet by trolling parenting message boards and persecuting moms who work, circumcise, use pacifiers, don't breastfeed through grade school, don't practice attachment parenting, watch TV, use disposable diapers and don't buy organic. Emboldened by their bullying success, some moms graduate to...

Drive-by parents

This mom is known for her hit-and-run style of snarky color commentating. She's that mom in the checkout line at the grocery store who will hiss in disapproval and dismay at the balloon and lollipop you allow the checkout clerk to hand to your toddler by saying, "I hope you know that those are both choking hazards!" and zoom off. These moms are the most insidious because they hastily leave the scene of their crime before the shocked victims can react -- or retaliate.

Typhoid Marys

Their kids are always, always sick and they never, ever keep them home from school or playdates. Even if their kids are home with diarrhea and vomiting from the rotovirus, these moms will drop off the homemade muffins lovingly made with their infected hands for the entire class to share at the Christmas party their darlings were forced to miss. Whenever there's an outbreak of any contagion, you can be sure that their kids are patient zero! 

Germaphobes

Conversely, these germ vigilantes are the natural enemies of the clueless Typhoid Marys. They're always on the alert for cooties and will shoot you the stink eye if your child so much as sneezes or farts in their child's general direction. These moms never leave home without Lysol wipes and Purell in their diaper bag and can be seen barking, "Don't Touch That!" to their offspring in public restrooms.

Alpha moms

She's the momager who micromanages every detail of the class holiday party and is quick to smack down any parent who dares to deviate from how she wants things done. She is usually PTA president or room parent at your school and rules her fiefdom with a well-manicured, iron fist.

Hovercraft mom

If she could wind bubble wrap around her child, she would. This quintessentially overprotective mom hovers within striking distance of her offspring and yours (if they dare approach) at all times. She monitors every interaction, poised to intervene if your child so much as crosses their eyes at her precious.

Slactivist moms

These are the totally inattentive moms at the park who either pretend not to notice and/or simply don't care that their feral, freakishly large-for-their-age, hell spawn are running amok, knocking your toddler down and kicking sand in their face. Yet any attempt on your part to impose order is met with a glacial stare and outright hostility.

Road warriors

Cocooned in their oversized SUVs, these moms are a menace during drop-off and pick-up times at school. Double-parking, blocking driveways, rear-ending cars with their piss-poor parallel parking skills and hitting pedestrians are all in a day's work. These moms are the most dangerous of MILPs and the traffic cops are never around to slap them with a badly-needed citation. They need to put down their lip gloss wands and cell phones and go back to driving school."

Written by Minsun Park from the following website:

sheknow.com

Not a Reverse Henry the Eighth

On Monday, Sammy, Christian, Kelly, my Dad, Ethan, Little Ethan, and I sat in the sonogram waiting area.  My posse and I stood around entertaining Little Ethan and trying not to take up too much room in the hallway.  I was nervous...if you've ever been pregnant, you know that you get nervous every time before an appointment (I often find myself wondering if the kicks I feel are just my imagination and praying that I will hear the heartbeat as soon as the doctor looks for it).

They called my name and actually pronounced it correctly (typically my name is Susan Wart to strangers)!  Our large group filed into the little dark sonogram room and the technician began to get an overwhelmed look on her face.  She decided it would be best if our guests came in and out of the room in shifts.

Sammy and Kelly took the first shift.  As soon as the sonogram started, we saw our little one wiggling like a maniac (phew!).  The sonogram technician took some measurements and Sammy commented that he was surprised how low the baby was....I bet he was surprised.  I was a little panicked when I had to roll my pants down to my bathing suit line.

As our little guy was screaming in the waiting room, I was thinking, "Little brother or little sister?  Little brother or little sister?"  Ethan wasn't wondering about anything, he even said "Look at my little boy" as soon as he saw the baby on the screen.

We were shocked when the technician said, "This is a little girl".  I must admit, tears streamed down my face.  I had been worrying that I would have the reverse Henry VIII issue and only have boys.  Don't get me wrong, I love my little boy...but there is something nice about having one of your own kind.

Our Little Girl

Kelly, my Dad, and Little Ethan came in for their shift and I told Little Ethan that he was going to have a little sister.  My dad immediately got my mom on speaker phone and asked her if she had all of her pink stuff ready.  She burst in to tears and choked out the words, "Susanne May, you're going to have a daughter".

After all of that, we got to watch our wiggly little girl while the technician took other measurements.  I am pleased to report that everything looked perfect.  We even got to see her nose and mouth...there was no sign of a cleft chin...yet.

Over 140, but Carrying Low

It's 1 hour and 10 minutes until we find out whether our baby is a boy or a girl.  I am VERY excited and wondering about the validity of all the "old wives's tales".  So, I decided to put them to the test.  In an hour and nine minutes, we will know how accurate they are....

• The Ring Test: Take your wedding ring and attach it to a thread. Hold the dangling item over mom-to-be's belly while she is lying down. If the needle or wedding ring swings in a strong circular motion, you will be having a girl. If it moves in a to and fro motion like a pendulum, you will be having a boy.  THE VERDICT: BOY
• Sweet cravings means you're having a boy.  Sour cravings means you're having a girl.  THE VERDICT: BOY
• If you are carrying low, you're having a boy.  If you're carrying high, you're having a girl.  THE VERDICT: BOY
• If your husband is gaining weight, you're having a boy.  If he isn't, you're having a girl: THE VERDICT: GIRL
• Fetal heartbeat of below 140 means boy.  Above 140 means girl: THE VERDICT: GIRL
• Chinese Gender Predictor: Legend says that the gender chart is more than 700 years old and was discovered in a royal tomb. It predicts your baby's sex based on your Chinese lunar age at the time you got pregnant and the Chinese lunar month in which you conceived.  THE VERDICT: GIRL
• Mother's Intuition: Supposedly correct 70% of the time.  THE VERDICT: I'M TOO CONFUSED AT THIS POINT.  I originally thought I was having a girl.  However, everyone else in the world seems to think I am having a boy, which has swayed my "intuition".

I guess only time (and a conclusive sonogram) will tell!  We will have the results in 55 minutes!!!!!!!

Do Not Call Dr. John C. Langley

I would consider myself to be a pretty laid back mom.  However, when Little Ethan's head felt like it was a thousand degrees I was frantic.  I was even more worried because we were on vacation and away from our normal pediatrician.  I grabbed my phone and googled "Key West Doctor".  I clicked on the third link down and got the contact information for Dr. John C. Langley.

He picked up his phone at 7:30 am when I called, which I thought was a good sign.  Unfortunately, that was the last good thing he did.  I told him about the little guy's fever and he told me it was probably a middle ear infection and that he would be able to come to us and check him out.  He explained that he had two appointments and would be able to see us by late morning.

Little Ethan went down for his morning nap and I felt relieved that a doctor would be there soon.  When nap time was over, I went to pick my baby up and he was ever warmer than he was before (even though he had already taken baby Tylenol).  My mind immediately went to brain damage and all sorts of other terrible scenarios.  It was around 10:30, so I rushed to my phone and called the doctor.  He sounded annoyed that I called and stressed to me that there was a line and I was going to have to wait my turn.  After that, he told me that my child was fine and to give him another dose of baby Tylenol or try baby Advil.  He then told me that it was just a fever from an ear infection.

I drove to CVS almost taking out every biker and pedestrian that crossed my path.  I got baby Advil and a thermometer.  As I drove back, I decided that if his fever was over 102 degrees that I would call 911.  His fever was 101, so we stayed put to wait for the doctor.

At 11:00, Dr. Langley called me and told me he was his way to his second patient and that he would get to us at 12:15.  He finally showed up around 1:00 pm in a rumpled light blue polo shirt covered in perspiration.

As my child laid on my shoulder burning up from fever, he went on and on about how he likes to make children comfortable with him before he examines them.  He pulled out a pack of stickers for my 12 month old to play with (like he even knows what a sticker is).  About an hour into the appointment, he still hadn't looked at the baby. 

When he finally did, he was grabbing at Little Ethan's face with his unwashed hands in an attempt to look in his ears.  He told me that one of his ears was infected (even though he couldn't get a clear look at it because it was impacted by wax).  Dr. Langley listened to his lungs and told me they were clear.  He pulled out a bunch of dirty conversion charts in order to write a prescription.  He had to do the math multiple times because he kept confusing himself.  To my surprise, he never looked at his throat, teeth, nose, or any other party of him.  I mentioned a rash that had developed on his shoulders and pulled back Little Ethan's shirt for him to see.  He didn't seem very interested and diagnosed it as heat rash.

What I showed Dr. Langley

At this point, my little guy was asleep on my should and burning up.  Dr. Langley had been with us for two hours and was still going on and on about how he has so many patients that need things to be converted to metric and how his daughter was a fashion consultant who traveled to China and Venice.  Finally, he told us that he would need $280 for the visit....cash only.  Thank goodness my mother had the amount so we could get rid of him.

Because of his clumsiness with conversions, I called me regular pediatrician to check his work.  They told me that the antibiotic he gave me was correct.  However, he also instructed me to give him a children's strength anti-histamine (even though he had no congestion).  My pediatrician seemed shocked - that type of medicine is not supposed to be used on anyone younger than four.

Even though I was disgusted with Dr. Langley's behavior, professionalism, and dirty appearance, I was happy to have the anti-biotic.  I figured it would help any sort of infection that he had.

Later that evening, the baby seemed to be feeling better.  We went to get in the car for dinner and to our surprise, a car pulled up next to ours and rolled down the window.  It was Dr. Langley again.  We quickly answered his questions so he would go away.  I don't know why he was right outside of the place we were staying, but I do know that it gave me the creeps.

After dinner, we experienced the night from hell.  Little Ethan was up all night screaming out and hyperventilating in pain.  I ended up bursting into tears while my mother rocked the baby....thank goodness she was here. 

The next morning, my mom and I felt and looked like we had been hit my a bus.  However, Little Ethan seemed to be doing better.  His fever had broken thanks to the Tylenol and motrin we had been giving him and he was in a better mood.  The only thing that changed was that his rash looked blistered.  I figured that since he had such a high fever, it probably made the heat rash worse.

After Little Ethan's second nap of the day, we were all hopeful that he had turned a corner.  The little guy and I walked outside and found my mom.  I showed her the blister on one of his hands and told her that the fever must have made his heat rash worse.  Then, I flipped over his arm to examine the underside.....which was completely broken out in  rash that was not there an hour ago.

My mom and I rushed to the car with Little Ethan, who wasn't even wearing any pants.  Thank goodness my mom found out about a clinic earlier (she wanted to make sure we never had to use Dr. Langley again).  We arrived at 4:45 to find out that it closed at 4:30.  I was about to burst into tears again when a nurse walked out of the clinic.  I jumped out of the car and explained our predicament.

She was incredible.  She had us follow her to an after hours clinic and even stayed until our appointment was over.  I could go into detailed description about how wonderful and professional the people at the clinic were, but that would take away from the point.

The diagnosis - NO EAR INFECTION.  My poor little man has Hand Foot and Mouth Disease.  It is a painful virus that causes rash and blisters (specifically on the hands, feet, and mouth), sore throat, and a high fever.

My Baby's Foot

I would like to apologize for the incredibly long post, but when I looked up Dr. John C. Langley, I couldn't find anything about the quality of his work.  My hope is that if people look him up that they will know what a terrible doctor he is.  He had a preconceived notion of what was wrong my my son and barely looked at him.  He is not "Doing No Harm", he is preying on tourists and desperate sick people.  DO NOT CALL DR. JOHN C. LANGLEY (aka Doctor On Call Key West Florida http://www.doctoroncallkeywest.com/).

Asian Snowman Baby

I would like to give a quick shout out to the person that googled "asian snowman baby" and found my blog.  In case you were wondering what image comes up when you google "asian snowman baby", this is it:

ламы

Have you ever wondered what "ламы" means?  I have.  Like I mentioned before in the post, The Llama Factor, there are certain words that when googled, bring people to your blog.  This word is now in fourth place (behind llama, happy llama, and happy llamas) for the most searched word(s) that bring people to my blog.

I know you will all be shocked by this, but ламы is "llama" in Russian.

Smaydays.com Surprise!

For my 28th birthday, I thought that my husband was going to get me the domain name smaydays.com (he spilled the beans back in October when he purchased it).  The other night, I received a link to this post.  Ethan wrote the post, not me.

http://www.smaydays.com/

I may be the luckiest girl in the world.

The Asian Snowmen of Winterberry

Since the Christmas season is wrapping up, I would like to share one of my favorite things about Christmas: The Asian Snowmen of Winterberry.

For the past several years, the neighborhood I grew up in has had a theme for Christmas decorations.  It's a pretty awkward situation because a very small number of houses actually participate, which makes the participating houses look REALLY random.

A few years ago, the theme was "Christmas around the World".  There was Hawaii, Switzerland, and some other locations.  My favorite house was Japan.  I about died when I passed this house and noticed three large snowmen made of plywood.  I have no picture, but this is a replica that I created to demonstrate the weirdness/inappropriateness:

This snowman was really sitting in their yard along with two Asian snowmen buddies.  The weirdest part of the whole thing is that the next Christmas theme was "Colleges".  Apparently two of the Asian snowmen were rivals.  One was wearing and Auburn jersey and the other one was sporting an Alabama jersey.

This year, the snowmen were sporting their jerseys again, but had a more Caucasian look (see replica below).

I must say, I'm a little sad that the Asian snowmen will not be celebrating Christmas with us next year.  However, I appreciate the laughs we had together.  Sayonara and Merii Kurisumasu...this means Goodbye and Merry Christmas for those of you who do not speak Japanese.



Cheese!

It has been forever since I have written!  Part of my lack of writing is because I am pregnant...again!  It's been one of the main things on my mind, but I haven't been able to write about it because my husband and I decided not to tell "the public at large" until I was three months along.  However, everyone that reads this blog has probably known for about three months.

Any way, we just wrapped up Little Ethan's first Christmas and it was amazing.  He loved his gifts from Santa, Zannie, Sampa, Gommie, and Grandaddy.  He is one lucky little guy. 

I also feel like a lucky Mommy because I got a new camera for Christmas (see photo below for proof)!

Hopefully learning about some photography will get me back into art, which I have really missed since becoming a Mommy.  It's not easy to paint with an 11 month old climbing up your leg.  However, it is easy to take pictures of him!  At the very least, I will be able to capture some amazing moments with a nice camera.  Thank you, Mommy and Daddy!

What Every Mom Should Know.

I have made a serious error a couple times and thought I would educate any mommies of young children. Do not fall asleep with TLC on in the background. You will wake up to a crying baby. At some point during the night, TLC is going to play an episode of 19 Kids and Counting....and you will think it is your child crying, not a Duggar. Consider yourself warned.

Mahna Mahna

Until today, I have not had much blog ammo (I am sure I will in the next couple of weeks).  However, I just saw The Muppets.  I was incredibly excited as I am a complete Muppet freak....and I don't care who knows it.  I own at least three stuffed Kermits and attempted to steal a very large one from a former boyfriend.  I also have a Kermit costume for my baby, the entire Muppet Show on DVD, more than five Muppet Books, and an oil painting of Kermit and Jim Henson.  How is that for letting my freak flag fly?!?

My first introduction to the Muppets was the Muppet Show, which is pretty much Saturday Night Live with characters created by Jim Henson.  This is probably why I (and critics) enjoyed The Muppets more than some people (namely my two brothers who are more familiar with Muppets from Space).  The Muppets is essentially an homage to The Muppet Show.  I thought things like Skeeter as the stage manager and the random goat eating things backstage were awesome because I remember that from childhood.  The classic Muppet cameos were all over the place and Jim Henson's message of love was there. However, there were a few things that I thought were not up to Muppet standards...

It didn't feel as "smart" as past Muppet movies.  One of the key elements of the Muppets is their subtle humor.  As Jim Henson said, "If you keep it more abstract, it's almost more pure. It's a cooler thing."  Muppet movies are supposed to be funny (not just to kids).  For example, in The Great Muppet Caper, Fozzie and Kermit are identical twins....obviously.

 
In Muppets from Space, Rizzo has a poster in his room of the "Mice Girls".

Another key Muppet element is believable relationships between people and Muppets (even if the acting is corny).  There didn't seem to be anything real about Jason Segel and Amy Adams...it was more parody than anything.  Half of what makes Muppets funny is that a lot of the time, the people around them don't see them as different at all.  I 100% believe that Charles Grodin has a thing for Miss Piggy.  You can see the passion in his eyes in the picture below.

I also think that the Muppet "newcomers" were not showcased enough.  I understand that the focus was The Muppet Show, but Rizzo the Rat and Pepe the Prawn are hilarious and should have been misbehaving in the background throughout the movie.

In conclusion, it was worth seeing.  I hope that this movie does bring the Muppets back into the mainstream.  Maybe this movie will lead to even better Muppet movies that stay truer to Jim Henson's humor and outlook on life.  Either way, I feel lucky for having discovered the magic of Jim Henson and the Muppets.

Rejected, but not Dejected

This has been an interesting week.  I woke up at 5:00 AM Monday morning (thanks, time change!) to an insanely stuffed up baby with a nasty sounding cough.  I was on the phone with the pediatrician by 7:15 AM and in the sick waiting room with my mother, who is recovering from bronchitis, by 8:50 AM.  The diagnosis was double ear infection and upper respiratory infection.  Let the antibiotics and florastor begin!

Last night, I noticed a rattling in Little Ethan's chest and immediately freaked out that he had bronchitis.  My awesome pediatrician saw me this morning at 8:00 and told me that he still had a nasty sinus infection, but no bronchitis...phew!  Crisis averted...

Or so I thought.  After the pediatrician, my mom met me at Firestone.  I dropped off my car for its annual inspection.  I was shocked when I received the phone call saying my car did not pass.  The Firestone employee gave me a laundry list of things I needed to fix and an estimate of over $600 to fix the bare minimum.

Tomorrow, I will be getting a second opinion!  I went to pick up my car and they told me they would drive it out in ten minutes.  Twenty minutes later, a random guy walked out and told me they accidentally broke the tire sensor on my car.  It only took them forty minutes to replace this.  All of this was happening while my mom and little guy were waiting for me at the grocery store.

As I got into my car with my brand new REJECTED sticker on the windshield, my mom told me that she would pick up the groceries I needed and drop them and the baby off at my house.  My mom made my day.

Despite the early morning, bronchitis scare, inspection failure, and broken tire sensor, I have had a good day.  It was a good day because of my helpful mom and sweet little boy.  There were a few times today that I caught myself really enjoying being a mom.  In my hectic life, I don't always take time to appreciate how lucky I am.  Little Ethan's new top tooth, our very first game of catch, and his love of hugs is what I will remember about today.  Life is good.

A Bonus in the Bag

I am loyal to my brands.  I like McDonald's (not Burger King), Coke (not Pepsi), Ford trucks (not Chevy), and ANHEUSER-BUSCH (not even going to dignify competitors by typing their names). 

Recently, while vacationing with another couple, one of our random conversations went the McDonald's route.  Our friend claimed that McDonald's purposely added extra fries to its customers' bags.  I've been thinking about it ever since.  If they do, I think it's genius.  Who doesn't want a couple extra fries - something small like that can turn your whole day around.

I decided to do some market research and went to McDonald's.  I ordered a cheeseburger, small fry, and small Diet Coke (not Pepsi...one of the reasons I like McDonald's).  On a side note, this is only 530 calories (basically no nutritional value, but an awesome fast food lunch).  I got my bag and looked for my extra surprise.  To my disappointment, there were no rogue french fries in the bottom of the bag.

After my extra fry failure, I turned to google.  I could not find any articles stating that they purposely put the extra fries in the bag.  However, there are at least 7,960 people that "like" finding extra fries in the bag on Facebook.  There are even 400 Facebookers who dislike when there are no extra fries. 

My conclusion is that if they're not doing it on purpose, they should start.  I am crossing my fingers that my next Mickey D's trip will include the extra fries at the bottom of my bag.

A New Kind of Stranger Danger.

If you don't already know this, women are competitive.  Add a baby into the mix and it gets a little crazy.  Luckily, my friends are not like this.  However, strangers with babies are another story. 

To be honest, I can't go anywhere without a stranger mistaking my nine month old for a one year old.  When they realize he is nine months old, they inevitably ask me if he is walking.  My reply is "no" and then they say something like, "My child walked all over the place by the time he was eight months old.  Don't worry about your baby.  Each child develops at their own pace".  They may as well tell me that my child is slow.  The next comment from the stranger is, "He must be crawling all over the place!".  My reply is another "no".  Then they look concerned.

I don't know many adults who never learned to crawl or walk, so I'm not that worried about it.

Dear strangers who like to tell me how their baby knows sign language, walked out of the womb, and said his/her first word at three months....congratulations.  I'm sure my 23 pound nine month old will turn out just fine.

My baby can stand with the aid of a chair!  Can yours?

A Wicked Awesome Party...Woof.

I would consider this weekend (specifically yesterday) a success!  We saw Wicked on Friday and I pulled off a quasi-surprise party for my husband on Saturday thanks to our amazing friends.  Today, our little family spent the day in bed watching the worst movies ever made (National Treasure, XXX, and, Transformers).

I always enjoy seeing musicals, but the most comical part of going to Wicked was an interaction my husband had with a former classmate.  During intermission, one of Ethan's high school friends came up to say hi.  Ethan then turned to the classmate's date and said, "Soon you're going to be Mrs. McGeorge, right?"  She looked annoyed and said "No."  After some small talk, we went to the restroom.  While Ethan was in the bathroom, he recounted the awkward event to my brother.  Little did he know, the classmate was standing right behind him listening to the whole thing.  My husband may be the most awkward human being alive.

We had a pretty good crowd to help us celebrate Ethan's 29th.  Ethan thought that it was just going to be a family afair, but another twenty people randomly wandered into the party throughout the evening.  The theme of the evening was "dogs", which was not a far stretch from our every day lives with Fiona and Blue.  However, my child may be having nightmares right now about his whole family transforming into dogs.

He was ok with the dogs ears, but when we put on the noses he was TERRIFIED.  The noses stayed off  until bed time and then made a reapparance after a few more beers. 

Besides learning that Little Ethan is terrified of fake dog noses, I also learned that I do not drink enough wine.  I offered a friend a glass of wine and then went to open the bottle.  The cork screw didn't feel quite right when I was trying to open the bottle, but I kept twisting any way.  I then "uncorked" it, only to find out that it was a twist off...there was no cork and I successfully screwed through an aluminum cap in front of a group of people.  Oops.  Ethan may have some competition for the title of most awkward human being alive.

A special thanks to our friends and family who put up with our awkwardness and came to celebrate with us.  We are very lucky to have such awesome people in our lives!

Prison Hats and Sparkly Wigs

Must write quickly, nap time is almost over! My husband, Ethan, will be turning twenty-nine on Friday and my family will be celebrating his birthday on Saturday. I am currently working on preparations for the party and have been thinking/laughing a lot about my family's random birthday tradition.

We love seeing each other look ridiculous. Each birthday, we have some sort of theme and everyone MUST wear the hat/garment/accessory provided. One year for my brother's (Sammy) birthday, the theme was jail. All of us wore prison hats and temporary tattoos. We ate handcuffed to each other. Yes, handcuffed to each other. It was not easy.

My sister's (Kelly) last birthday was a loco fiesta!

One of our latest themes was doo rags. Even Little Ethan was required to participate.

I can't put my finger on when this weirdness started, but it has definetely ramped up the older we have gotten. I look forward to every birthday party just to see what the next hat will be. Let's be honest - there is nothing better than drinking a Nattie out of Waterford while wearing a cowboy hat or sparkly wig.

Stay tuned for pictures from this Saturday. Thank goodness I have a big family - we get to do birthdays pretty often!

Baby Illness Amateur

I have been very lucky over the past eight months.  We haven't had any sick visits to the doctor.  Unfortunately, he has been in such good health that I have no idea about visits to the pediatrician's office.

Over the weekend, the contents of Little Ethan's diapers were not his norm (I won't get more detailed than that).  I made him a pediatrician appointment for 8:50 on Monday morning.

We arrived at the doctor's office.  Little Ethan looked super cute (wearing a light blue shirt and blue and white check shorts) and I looked bizarre (wet hair, no make-up, and a tight shirt I shouldn't be wearing post-baby).  I walked up to the receptionist, checked us in, and we made our way to the sick waiting room.

I sat with Little Ethan on my lap and thought about how bizarre it was that I was old enough to be sitting there as the parent instead of the child.  I stopped seeing my pediatrician about six years ago.  We shared the sick waiting room with an eleven month old girl (smaller than Little Ethan).  They entertained themselves by grunting back and forth at each other.

"Ethan Wirt" was called and the nurse guided us back to a little room.  As the nurse left the room to get her supplies, she instructed me to take off his outfit and sit him on the table so she could take his temperature and weigh him.  I stripped him down to his diaper and waited for the nurse to return.  She did and explained again that she needed to take his temperature.  I said, "ok" and waited for her to take his temperature.  After a few seconds, she said, "You need to take his diaper off".  I guess the Vaseline on the thermometer should have tipped me off.

He had a low grade fever, 100 degrees, and weighed in at 21 pounds, 3 ounces!  After a bit, the doctor came in and checked his ears...I mean attempted to check his ears.  Apparently, she couldn't see much because of all the ear wax (ewww).  I immediately got nervous because I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be cleaning his ears....I hadn't in eight months.  Luckily, the doctor told me that I wasn't supposed to (visit from social services avoided!).

The verdict was in - an ear infection in the left ear!  She wasn't our normal doctor and was surprised that this was his first sick visit.  I'm surprised she didn't already know because of all my awkward questions about medicine and ear infections.  I also commented that I should take a picture of the two of him to commemorate his first ear infection.  She wasn't amused.  She told me to give him Amoxicillin twice a day and left the room.

I had to ask a nurse how to get back out to the main waiting room (the place is a maze).  I went to receptionist to ask for a prescription and check out.  They told me I didn't need to check out and that the prescription had already been sent to the pharmacist.  Oops.

I then had an miscommunication with the pharmacist when she told me the Amoxicillin needed to be mixed.  I said, "Ok, I'll mix it with his food".  She then said that she meant she had to mix it in the back before she gave it to me.

I was happy to get home and get the pink stuff in his mouth.  He seems to be feeling much better today.

Sorry for the long post, but I am sure I will look back at this and laugh at what a novice I was.  Something tells me this is the first of many sick visits!

Zombie Fish

For some reason, I don't have a whole lot to write about lately.  If I had to guess, I would say it's because Little Ethan is teething (and not very happy about it).  However, it seems as though he has won the teething battle (until the next two teeth) and is starting to act more like himself.  Because I like blogging and don't want to get out of the habit, here is another post about recent googles:

Trumpette
There is a lot that you can do wrong when it comes to parenting.  One of my largest mistakes thus far is shoes.  I confess - I have a barefoot baby and have never made him wear shoes. Little Ethan considers shoes to be another teether.  I put the shoe on his foot and then he takes it off and puts it in his mouth.  After two days of the put it on, take it off, chew on it battle, I had a weak moment and googled "Trumpette".  Trumpette is a brand that makes socks that look like shoes.  He wore these when he was an infant because it's hard to find shoes small enough.

I then realized that I was compromising with an 8 month old (talk about a parenting mistake!).  Since the google, my little man has been wearing shoes, whether he likes it or not.  Soon it will be winter and he'll start trying to walk.  He will thank me later.

456 Fish
A few days ago, I escaped. My mom and I went to visit my brother, Christian, for his birthday. We wanted to eat some seafood and celebrate. This is what I learned:
Do not confuse 456 Fish with 1 Fish 2 Fish. 456 Fish accidentally serves you sushi (raw scallops)...yuck. 1 Fish 2 Fish has amazing food and service. Try not to confuse either of these with Red Fish Blue Fish, which is located in Key West. Confusing enough for you?

Zombie Baltimore
One of my best friends in the world, Jenna, lives in Baltimore.  I would first like to take this time to say that she is a much better friend than I am and comes to Richmond (or wherever else I may be) way more than I go to Baltimore.  That said, Baltimore is awesome.  Recently, Jenna gave me another reason to come to Baltimore.  Apparently there is a 5K obstacle course called "Run for your Lives".  Basically, you're running from zombies.  Here are some of the guidelines from http://runforyourlives.com/:

• Before the race, you will be given a flag belt, just like the overly intimidating game of flag football. These flags represent your health.
• The zombies want to take your flags and maybe eat your brains.
• If you lose all your health flags, you die. And the zombies win.
• Health bonuses will be hidden throughout the course. If you find one and carry it to the finish, it will save your life.

This may be the most awesome thing I've ever heard of.   I wish I were more in shape so I could partake.  They would definitely eat my brains.

Hope everyone has a zombie-free day!

A Formula for Mishaps

Sometimes I feel like my life has become a series of mishaps.  I guess I asked for it with the entourage I currently hang with - Blue and Fiona (two insane "used" dogs), Noel (in cancer remission), and Little Ethan (proud owner of two new teeth).  I have to find the humor in the mishaps so I don't go insane.  Here is a recap of my last 24 hours.

After finding that Blue had gotten his head stuck in the kitty door and then ripped it out of the wall, I needed a break.

I left Big Ethan with the baby and tried to find some alone time on the back porch.  Unfortunately, Little Ethan did not think this was the best idea, so he repeatedly walked into the door to try and get to me.

I was extremely happy when I finally fell asleep and dreamt that I was back in college (in the dream my only worry was what drinking establishment I was going to attend that evening).  Unfortunately, I woke up to a baby crying and the mayhem started again.  I asked Big Ethan if he wanted to get the baby or the bottle.  His reply was, "Can't I get a break at some point?".  I wanted to slap him, but resisted the urge and went downstairs for a bottle.

The beginning of the morning was typical - bottle, baby food, Today Show, walk, nap.  I put Little Ethan down in his crib and headed for the shower (this is the best time to shower because you can't hear the crying).

I walked out of the shower and noticed that neither of the dogs came up to try and lick me (like they usually do as soon as I get out...gross).  That's when I heard strange noises coming from my office.  I threw on my bathrobe to go check out the situation.  Fiona and Blue had gone into my purse (aka diaper bag) and taken out the Little Ethan's formula.  They then opened the formula and ate it all.  They looked like guilty cocaine addicts.

Fiona is now napping and Blue is still looking for food.  What will the rest of the day bring?

The Llama Factor

One of the most interesting things about writing a blog is looking at your statistics.  For example, I know that my number one source for page views (aka when some one clicks on a page) is Facebook.  I also know that "True Mud" is my most popular post.  My stats also tell me that six people in France and three people in Hong Kong have viewed my blog. 
A lot of people aren't reading my blog because they are interested in my life or because they find my writing entertaining.  I was curious after looking at what google searches brought people to my blog:

They are looking for the llama.  Traffic to my blog has steadily increased since I wrote "The Straw that Broke the Llamas Back".  Apparently when you google image "happy llama", my blog is the second image that comes up.

I would like to thank Llamas for the PR.  I certainly deserve it after what I've been through with their kind.  In conclusion - thank you for reading my blog, even if you're only doing it for the llama.



How to Spoil a Baby.

Today, Little Ethan and I have been doing battle.  He's winning.

Today started at 5:30 AM, which is very early when your child typically gets up at 6:30 or 7:00.  I pretended like I didn't hear him for 15 minutes and then Big Ethan and I got up.  I got the bottle and he changed the diaper.  Big Ethan must have known what I was in for because he immediately left for work.  After a walk, Little Ethan went down for a brief nap and was up again by 9:00 AM.  At that point, I made the mistake of going to Target. 

Missoni launched their Target line today and the place was filled with unusually well-dressed people scrounging for knit dresses.  For some reason, I thought I could join in on the fun.  See picture below and note the baby in the background:

What a cute grimace!  That was the most well behaved he was during the whole shopping adventure. 

After being distracted by Missoni, I took a few laps around Target, trying to get everything on my list (everything takes you twenty times longer with a crying baby in your cart).    Little Ethan wasn't just crying - I'm pretty sure he was determined to make me look like an inept mother.  He has been sitting up for two months and sitting in a cart for a little longer than that, but today he may as well have been a rag doll.  Every time I took a turn, he flopped to one side of the cart and started crying.  One woman even came up to me and asked if he was learning how to sit. 

About 45 minutes in, I headed to the toy section out of desperation.  I added a new toy to the cart in an effort to distract him (aka bribe him to be good).  To make a long story about a terrible day short, the toy has not helped.  He is now sitting on the floor playing with his new toy while he grunts at me.

I would like to use this post to officially concede.  Little Ethan, you win.  I will do whatever you want to make the crying stop.